Sharing My Diary Entry From Today

A little glimpse of what goes through my head on the days I'm in "deep thought."  So tell me what you think about this??

Dear Diary,

It's been a long time since I've last written something... this is the first time that I have written in a digital diary lol.  Anyhow... today's inspiration for writing is the following quote I came across on Twitter:

"The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of
your dreams."

Well... not only is it the biggest adventure, but to me, it is the biggest risk.  I actually think about this a lot.  What is it that I really want out of life?  What is my destiny?  What's my purpose in this world?  How do I achieve my goals?  What are my goals?

In the last year, I have learned a whole lot about myself that I didn't know was there.  Which is kind of scary because I'm sure there is a whole lot more for me to discover about myself.  Apart from being a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend... who am I?

I know how to answer these questions, but part of me is afraid of the process.  Earlier this year I started the process... and it was emotionally exhausting.  I found that this process comes with a lot of risk or at least I feel like I risk a lot.  What exactly am I risking?  I have some assumptions, but I am not for certain.  But I guess that's the point of risk.

Song of the day (more like the week b/c I'm a teeny obsessed):  Don't Judge Me by Chris Brown



[Verse 1]
I don't wanna go there
We should never go there
Why you wanna go there
I guess I gotta go there

[Pre-Hook]
You're hearing rumors about me
And you can't stomach the thought
Of someone touching my body
When you so close to my heart
I won't deny what they saying
Because most of it is true
But it was all before I fell for you

[Hook]
So please babe
So please don't judge me
And I won't judge you
Cause it could get ugly
Before it gets beautiful
Please don't judge me
And I won't judge you
And if you love me
Then let it be beautiful
Let it be beautiful, let it be beautiful
Let it be beautiful, let it be beautiful

[Verse 2]
Everything I say right now
Is gonna be use in another fight
And I've been through this so many times
Can we change the subject
You gonna start asking me questions like:
"Was she attractive? Was she an actress?"
Baby the fact is

[Pre-Hook]
You're hearing rumours about me
And saw some pictures online
Saying they got you so angry
Making you wish you were blind
Before we start talking crazy
Saying some things we'll regret
Can we just slow it down and press reset

[Hook]
So please babe
So please don't judge me
And I won't judge you
Cause it could get ugly
Before it gets beautiful
Please don't judge me
And I won't judge you
And if you love me
Then let it be beautiful
Let it be beautiful, let it be beautiful
Let it be beautiful, let it be beautiful

[Bridge]
Just let the past
Just be the past
And focused on things
That are gonna make us laugh
Take me as I am and not who I was
I'll promise I'll be, the one that you can trust

[Hook]
So please babe
So please don't judge me
And I won't judge you
Cause it could get ugly
Before it gets beautiful
Please don't judge me
And I won't judge you
And if you love me
Then let it be beautiful
Let it be beautiful, let it be beautiful
Let it be beautiful, let it be beautiful

I don't wanna go there
We should never go there

-------------------------------

~ Julia

I'm Sorry Rihanna... but, no.

I love Ri Ri... big fan! But I'm just wondering who the hell told her that she's "Gangsta?" I mean, last time I checked if you "gangsta" you don't leave a fight with a nigga lookin like you got ran over by a tractor! Now, don't get me wrong, I totally disagree with Chris Brown whoopin her ass... no man should ever put his hands on a woman! But if you the woman who gets beat, you don't come out of that talkin bout you "gangsta." I mean, does she call herself initiated into a gang b/c she got her ass whooped??? Is that what it takes? Being publicly embarrassed worldwide? I think not. Now her image is totally different than the Rhianna we used to know. Which is okay I guess because artists are supposed to grow and emerge into something different. But emerging into this "I'm so hard" and "Gangsta 4 Life" image just because you got beat.... hmmmm i don't think so.

And Chris Brown, what the hell are you wearing in your "Transform Ya" video??? Put a shirt on damn it! Your 'fit is not the business!!!

Anyways, here are the lyrics to Rhianna's "G4L."

I lick the gun when I'm done cause I know that revenge is sweet, so sweet
This is a gang ladies bang baby bang tell me what you need, oh
Any motherfucka wanna disrespect
Playin' with fire finna get you wet
How that feel down there on your knees, huh

I got these girls like a solider
Trip and it's goin' down down down

I'm ready to roll
Girl I'm with you
If they get you they get me
So come on let's go
Bitch I'm with you if you if if you with me

You know I'm down
I'm down for life
Loaded, reloaded and let's go
Gangsta for life
Till the day that I die yeah
I promise I'll stand and fight
Cause you know that I'm down, you know I'm down
Gangsta for life

We drivin' by with them headlights off
We know where you stay
Know what you did
We don't play that shit nigga, we don't play no

Everybody quiet when you did your dirt
Acting like a bitch finna get you hurt
Breakin' liars down to the knees, oh

I got these girls like a solider
Trip and it's goin' down down down

I'm ready to roll
Girl I'm with you
If they get you they get me
So come on let's go
Bitch I'm with you if you if if you with me

You know I'm down
I'm down for life
Loaded, reloaded and let's go
Gangsta for life
Till the day that I die yeah
I promise I'll stand and fight
Cause you know that I'm down, you know I'm down
Gangsta for life

Guns, check
Girls, check
Hell naw we ain't done yet
Got a lot to handle
We ain't took over the world yet

We're a army
Better yet a navy
Better yet crazy
Guns in the air
Guns in the air
Guns in the air
Can't hurt us again when you come around here
We got our guns, got our guns
We got our guns, got our guns
We got our guns in the motherfuckin' air, oh

I'm down for life
Gangsta for life
I'm down for life
Gangsta for life

You know I'm down
I'm down for life
Loaded, reloaded and let's go
Gangsta for life
Till the day that I die yeah
I promise I'll stand and fight
Cause you know that I'm down, you know I'm down
Gangsta for life

I lick the gun when I'm done cause I know that revenge is sweet